How to Connect with Parents
It’s difficult to connect with kids on a deep level if you don’t have the support of their parents. In this article I want to share some of my approaches and philosophy behind them.
Establish Unity
From the very beginning I want to establish unity. It’s important that parents know that we’re on the same page and that I have the best interest of their child in mind. So if they get a call from me they know that it’s necessary. If I place any restrictions on the child, it’s necessary.
Be Present
This is simple but it speaks volumes. Presence matters. It communicates that you’re accessible. I can recall a number of times when something traumatic has happened in the neighborhood. As a leader I want to be there. I think it’s my responsibility to make myself available as a familiar face in the midst of chaos. I also think that it’s necessary to call parents during that time. It lets them know that I care about them and their child. At the same time this is not limited to only when something traumatic happens. Being present is also going to the park, gym, taking random walks, shopping at the grocery store, and showing up at different community events. I want them to know that I’m not just doing a two hour program and detaching myself from the community, but that I am a part of the community as well.
Do Consistent Check Ins
Consistency helps when connecting with parents. People like consistency. It shows commitment to something. I do my best to check in with parents on a monthly basis. Check-ins are usually two-fold. I like to update them on their child(ren)’s progress and find out ways that I can assist and serve them. I also want to know how they’re doing personally. Why? They’re just as important as their child. Oftentimes parents are so overwhelmed with being sacrificial for their kids that they feel overlooked. They may be aware of this or it could be subconscious but I do believe that this is the case. I don’t want to leave room for them to question my concern about them or their child.
Capitalize on Opportunities
I want to be clear on this. On one hand we do not exist to assume all of the burdens that people have. I don’t even believe that that is the mission of the church. On the other hand, I do believe that it’s important to look for opportunities where you can fill in the gaps. This can look differently based on each situation but it could be taking groceries to a family, buying a poster board for a project, or filling in to go on a field trip. Discernment, wisdom, and counsel is always needed. You surely don’t want to offend anyone. Over time your relationship will grow and so will your comfort level as it relates to doing certain things. In other words, I would not recognize that your first act kindness would be to bring someone groceries. People would probably be offended by that. But, once you have their trust the more opportunities you will have.
Montrel Haygood